**DO YOU WANT TO OWN IT? Book Giveaway Coming Soon**
Bismillah...
For the purpose of disclosure, I am going to put myself out there right from the start. I am a survivor of childhood abuse, and I guess I lived to tell. The thing is, I don't really tell- not much- not anymore.
All of this changed when I started speaking to the kids about safety, and their bodies, and everything in-between.
I've been through the process of fearing for my children's safety, and I feel (with Rainbow), I am doing it all over again. I never had faith in myself. I depended on emotional support from my sister when Iman and Amira were waddling around in diapers. I depended on hubby to tell me what I already knew - I was grown now, and no one could hurt me. I went to therapy, begged for hypnosis to "make the bad memories go away". I took prozac, wrote endlessly about my pain, but I always came up for air, feeling just a shadow of the girl I knew I could be, and wanted to be.
Years ago, a great friend who was also going through therapy, gave me a gift Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane) by Gavin de Becker
. I never read it because I think, while I wanted to protect my kids, I had not yet gone through the process of healing. I couldn't deal with the reality of fear.
While unpacking my things from our move, I discovered the book, still wrapped in tissue paper. I finally had the nerve to read it.
In a practical and compassionate tone de Becker has written a great guide for parents, and loved ones who want to protect children at any cost. De Becker a survivor of childhood abuse is open and sensitive about the many ways that our children can be harmed, and he does not sugar-coat it.
Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane) speaks about violence in ways that we would often like to forget, or deny, but he makes it clear that we as parents can do something about it.
He says (about the book):
He's right. This book pretty much confirmed what I already knew. Children are a gift given to us for a short time in our lives. They are a blessing and need to be protected. I am up for the HUGE task of protecting my kids, and you know what, I have been doing it for years without giving myself any credit for it.
Great Book!
Teach kids about Safety:
The Safe Side
Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane)
All of this changed when I started speaking to the kids about safety, and their bodies, and everything in-between.
I've been through the process of fearing for my children's safety, and I feel (with Rainbow), I am doing it all over again. I never had faith in myself. I depended on emotional support from my sister when Iman and Amira were waddling around in diapers. I depended on hubby to tell me what I already knew - I was grown now, and no one could hurt me. I went to therapy, begged for hypnosis to "make the bad memories go away". I took prozac, wrote endlessly about my pain, but I always came up for air, feeling just a shadow of the girl I knew I could be, and wanted to be.
Years ago, a great friend who was also going through therapy, gave me a gift Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane) by Gavin de Becker
. I never read it because I think, while I wanted to protect my kids, I had not yet gone through the process of healing. I couldn't deal with the reality of fear.In a practical and compassionate tone de Becker has written a great guide for parents, and loved ones who want to protect children at any cost. De Becker a survivor of childhood abuse is open and sensitive about the many ways that our children can be harmed, and he does not sugar-coat it.
Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane)
speaks about violence in ways that we would often like to forget, or deny, but he makes it clear that we as parents can do something about it. He says (about the book):
--Gavin de Becker"I commit that by the end of this book, you'll know more and be uncertain less; see more and deny less, accept more and hesitate less; act more and worry less. How can I be so sure? Because if nature selected you for the job of protecting a child, odds are you're up to it."
He's right. This book pretty much confirmed what I already knew. Children are a gift given to us for a short time in our lives. They are a blessing and need to be protected. I am up for the HUGE task of protecting my kids, and you know what, I have been doing it for years without giving myself any credit for it.
Great Book!
Teach kids about Safety:
The Safe Side
Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane)
Posts
Your are brave to talk of this experience. I hear and feel you 100%. My children couldn't go to playgroup, nursery or school until they could talk and effectively tell me how their day was. They weren't allowed out the door until they were aware of 'good touching' and 'bad touching'.
My mother is even more cautious than me and I am militant regarding it all. Subhnallah my mother was a senior social worker for child protection for over ten years and it was very emotional for her. She now a Senior social worker for the eldery and she doesn't miss the pain of child protection at all.
Sorry to read this Salma - I imagine how hard it can be, my mum and one of my best friends have been abused as kids.
Protecting our children is something we should all keep in mind. My mum has always been very careful on the subject and has always talked with us about the risks, what to do if........, how to react to..... I can only thanks her for this, even if at some stages it was difficult to live with her past.
And at the same time she taught us how to respect ourselves (this was great help when we were teenagers).
You are doing good teaching this to your children. Thanks for sharing with us, we should all be aware of the dangers and protect our children from any abuse.
Take care - Keeping you and your family in my prayers.
Salam Sanaa- it takes a whole village to raise children doesn't it? It's not easy, but I'm up for it. Thanks so much for your visit.
Marie-Salam. Yes, it is a struggle, but we take life lessons with our challenges. The book was a great way for me to get back to the root of my issues...fear.
Have a great week-end ladies.
I am so into it Salma..I have also been also child abused by my own Mom..and now it was the main reason why I filed an annulment..my ex husband physically abused me and my kids..it hurts so much because I have been through it..but what made it worst was seeing my kids being hurt by their own father..as a Mom it gave me real pain..but Salma..each of us has our own journey and I do believe no matter how painful it was our Lord has His own reasons why..I have now became stronger..being a Single Mom is not easy but seeing my kids..I learned to fight for what is right and overcome my fears for my kids :)
Dear Sie, I am so sorry that you know the pain of abuse, and that your children had to go through it as well. You are beyond brave for leaving and caring for your kids alone.
God does have his own reasons, and we are stronger because of our trials. you are right.
May he protect and guide your family ALWAYS.
xo