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Bismillah...
Last week Rainbow was biting and I threatened to wean him. I didn't know that I meant it until last night. I have loads of milk stored in the freezer, but he won't even look at it, lol.
I don`t know what I did with Amira (who nursed forever...well, it felt like forever) but Rainbow won`t go without a fight.
I don`t know what I did with Amira (who nursed forever...well, it felt like forever) but Rainbow won`t go without a fight.
How did you do it OR How are you doing it now?
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Salaams Salma,
I started decreasing feeding times,
Then there was no feeding while we were out , not even at Grandmas( which would be the same as being home before we began to wean )
Then it became only feeding once a day and worked up to to no feeds.
This wasn't just weeks and days but it took months. Worked for me, not easy when they like the security of feed times.
Maybe someone else has tried a different approach that has worked better than mine.
Asalamu Alaykom,
I'm not with you on this.
Biting is NOT a reason to wean. Every single toddler will bite mom at least once. Yet, moms can stay nursing past that point and so can you.
Biting usually happened to me at the end of a nursing. Make sure that you are nursing only and not letting him chill out on the teat. Put it away as soon as he's done.
If he bites at another time during a nursing, then put it away without a big fuss or reprimand. Cause and effect in action! Let him nurse again later.
If a child bites their dinner plate and has it taken away they are soon civilized. This is the same with biting during nursing. Civil that young'un but don't stop nursing.
Remember that breastmilk is specially designed to form neurons and there is NOTHING better. If you stop the nursing now you will never know who he could have been if you had given him more weeks and months.
Breastmilk is also full of LIVE antibodies. If you stop nursing him now, then six months from now those will be gone from his body. Right in time for the fall flu season. Wait. Nurse.
In addition, it is not healthy for you or him to suddenly wean. Gradual weaning (instead of immediate stoppage) reduces the chances of you getting blocked ducts and him getting psychologically damaged.
You've got your own life. I know. I am really straight-forward on breastfeeding and very adamant about how special a breastfeeding relationship is. May Allah make it easy on you and Rainbow.
SimpleMe- I know I will have to start slow, and it will take a while. I figure 2-3 months? InshaAllah it will not be difficult.
Salam Yosra- Thanks for the comment, it helps me to make sense of what I want to do and why. I am actually not weaning because he bites. I am weaning because it is taking a toll on my sleep. We all have the flu right now, and Rainbow was up most of last night feeding. It's those moments when I want to be there and cuddle and nurse and just know that I am doing what is best for me and him.
On the other hand, I cannot function on 2or 3 hours of sleep a night anymore. I am new at my job, and I am struggling to keep going in the day, not to mention learn and keep up with the new changes in a new job.
I don't disagree with you, and I LOVE nursing. Oh my, I really love to be close to my baby. Proof...I nursed Amira til 3 years.
On top of all of this, he has been sick for 3 weeks straight. I know that if he wasn't nursing he would be worse; I think about this a lot. I plan to wean so that hubs can help me more in the nights.
I have been storing milk for months, so he will still get the benefits, and I don't plan on just stopping (he wouldn't let me anyway, but I don't know how long I can hold up.
Please make dua for me. I am ill and tired and a bit frustrated. I know it's not the end of the world, but it's appreciated.
Thanks
*hugs*
I know this is/can be such a hard topic. I weaned Kalila pretty much cold turkey because I was cramping and 5 months pg and freaked out. I didn't intend to do it, but was waiting ot hear back if we were still good to go and it took a few days... by then she seemed ok with being distracted. Looking back I don't like how we did it and don't think she did as well as we thought at the time, but... we survived.
This time we're not weaning... gonna let ZJ do that on his own ;-) He'll know when he's ready. I don't see it being any time soon. We'll see how it goes though!
Oh Salma, I know and totally understand what you're going through. I've been through this God knows how many times. One night I'll swear that I will start the weaning process as I am getting very little sleep but have to hold up the whole day the following day as I have a full-time day job. I even sometimes have to work on Sundays early mornings. There were nights that it is just difficult especially when the little one is sick. But then even after swearing that we'll start the process of weaning, here I am still breastfeeding my almost 2yr-old toddler. As much as I love and believe in breastfeeding, I also believe that it is a two-way street. As moms should also feel comfortable with it and our health is also important. If our body and mind break down because we haven't been getting enough sleep because of breastfeeding, in the end, our little one will also suffer. So, moms' health and sanity is also important as being able to nourish our little ones.
What you can probably try is night-weaning. I've read a lot about it and it could be viable for you. I haven't tried it though so I can't tell you something from experience. You can stop the nursing at night so you can get enough sleep but during the day (or after work) you can still breastfeed him providing him some of the golden benefits of your milk. As always, it is not a quick process though... but with your Allah's grace, I know you will make it through.
hugs.
Spanish Pinay
Subhnallah. Salma do what you feel is best for you and your son. We all know breast milk is best. We all know that Allah does not burden us more than we can bear. Allah is All Knowing and He alone knows what you are going through so you do what is best first and foremost for you. Rainbow will not benefit from a mother who is wasting away and slowly becoming less effective in the home. When a mother isn't right, the whole house isn't right. Try combining milk until your strength and health is better.
This is a tough subject! I have breastfed for different amounts of time with my 3 children! They are all different and I encourage everyone to try to breastfeed as long as they can - but you shouldn't have to suffer doing this! My first two children I weaned them off gradually once they no longer interested and eating solids fine. My last child fed a lot longer and could have gone on further but I was having terrible breast pain - umpteen hospital appointments could not figure out why, so I had to make the decision to stop because of my health even though i had the milk and my baby wanted it - I cried for a long time afterwards thinking I had made a mistake stopping but I know I made the right decision now. If your health is suffering then this won't help the baby so you need to think what is best for both you and the baby not just the baby! My thoughts are with you at this time, Karima
Asalamu Alaykom,
Du'as your way for sure :)
Because of what I read, I MISread where you were coming from. You love breastfeeding and that's good. You are at your wit's end with all the pulls on your time, energy and body. I hear that more in your reply.
I mean...it's a hard time. Sick! New job! Needy baby! Wow...it's a lot to deal with. I could never do all that.
Is now really the best time to make a decision? Only you know.
That stored breastmilk has no antibodies. They have been freezed to death. You will not be protecting your boo this way.
As for dad helping...he will only be helping IF your boo allows him to help. You might very well be pulled in to rescue a hard situation. May Allah make it easy on all of you.
Mk- I'm sure that Kalila would have liked to nurse longer, but life has its own plans I guess. I don't read much about her being sickly, so that's good. I know all kids are different anyway.
SP- I think we are at the same place. When I planned to nurse for 2 years, I thought I would go back to my old position where everything was safe...now I am the new employee who can't seem to stay focused. It's hard trying to keep it all together.
Sanaa- Yes, I know Allah will not give me more than I can bear. I'm just waiting for that balance...inshaAllah.
Hi Karima- I'll just try to find a balance. I want to do it, but yes, the pat about losing myself, personally not a problem, but if I want to keep a job, I need to change some things. Sometimes I feel this is so trivial compared to mothers who cannot feed their children.
Yosra- I was trying to make light the situation, and I can see how what you read gave you a different picture. I tend to leave the real crappy thoughts for my other blog. I was told by our Dr that frozen milk loses some but not all antibodies, I would hate to think all my wok has been in vain. Maybe I will just continue to pump and not nurse him, so he gets the fresh stuff.
Thanks for you thoughts and duas.
Asalamu Alaykom,
This is the problem with me joining in on a breastfeeding discussion: I never shut up! Sorry :)
Your doctor is right in that not all antibodies have been killed off. I'm trying to find the numbers but will give up (for now but I think it's going to nag me).
So, I'll leave this discussion (inshahallah...God give me the will power to stop) with some links:
This discussion was interesting:
http://www.babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=68613.5;wap2
It seems like antibodies don't all die in the freezing BUT some are left clinging to the container sides and then if you make the mistake to heat up they DO die.
I did kind of forget one of the aspects to freezing and re-using which is that the breastmilk is perfect for the age of the child. If you pump at 3 months and then give after 6 months, the composition isn't as beneficial. However, it is ALWAYS superior to formula or cow's milk.
Here's Dr. Sears.
http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/breastfeeding/while-working/storing-transporting-breast-milk
I like his info and the way he presents it. I thought it was really interesting to read how loooong breastmilk is OK is the fridge. Those eight days are surprising.
Thanks for allowing me to come back to this subject and for being so nice about my comments. Best wishes for one and all.
Yosra, no problem I don't mind feedback that actually teaches me something. I also read up on the topic because of the comments here.
Thanks for looking up this information and for sharing it here.